Caring for the Caregiver: Why So Many of Us Wait Too Long to Ask for Help
You take care of everyone. Who takes care of you?
Maybe it's driving Mom to her Tuesday appointments, then racing to pick up the kids. Maybe it's helping your husband recover from his knee replacement while still showing up for work, your workout, and everyone else. If you're part of the "sandwich generation," caring for aging parents and your own family at the same time, you already know how much of yourself goes into it.
You're far from alone. About 63 million Americans care for a family member, spending an average of 27 hours a week doing it. Right here in Fort Worth, an estimated 140,000 to 175,000 adults are among them.
November is National Family Caregivers Month, and the holidays tend to bring caregiving to the surface. More visits, more travel, more lifting and helping. So this month, we want to turn the attention toward y'all, the people holding everything together.
We know asking for care for yourself can feel hard, even selfish, when someone you love needs you. But taking care of your own body isn't stepping away from caregiving. It's what lets you keep showing up, for them and for you, for the long haul.
Why so many of us wait too long to ask for help
Here's a number that says a lot: about 39% of family caregivers say a break, called respite care, would help them. Yet only 13% actually use it.
Why the gap? Caregivers often tell us some version of the same few things:
"I feel guilty leaving, and I don't want my loved one to feel like a burden."
"Nobody else knows how to take care of the specific details and maintain the routine."
"I don't have time to take care of my needs right now."
"My back has hurt for months, but it's not that bad yet."
That last one is where we see the most trouble. Aches that get pushed aside and ignored tend to get worse with continued neglect. A sore shoulder begins to limit function and affect sleep. A cranky low back becomes the reason you can't lift a laundry basket or stand up from a chair. Waiting rarely makes it easier to fix.
What caregiving asks of your body
Caregiving is physical work, even when it doesn't feel like "exercise." Think about a typical day:
Lifting and transfers: Helping someone stand, get into a car, or move from bed to chair puts a heavy load on your upper and lower back, hips, legs, and knees.
Bending and reaching: Tying shoes, picking up dropped items, and making beds strain the back and shoulders over time.
Repetition: The same motions day after day can lead to overuse aches, much like a repetitive work or sports injury.
Stress and poor sleep: Tension often settles in the neck, shoulders, and low back, and tired muscles are more likely to get hurt.
None of this means you're doing anything wrong. It means your body is working hard and deserves the same attention you give to the person you care for.
Small ways to care for yourself, starting this week
You don't need a whole new routine. Think of these small changes as a kindness to yourself. Your body works hard every day, and these adjustments help it keep supporting you as you support others.
Lift with your legs, keep it close. Before moving, pull your belly button in toward your spine and hold tension in your core. Next, bend at the hips and knees, keep the person or object close to your body, and turn your feet to move in a different direction. Avoid twisting while you lift.
Use the right tools. Grab bars and grabbers, a shower chair and an elevated toilet seat, and a transfer belt can ease the physical strain on both of you.
Move for you, not just for them. Throughout the day, intersperse a few minutes of whole body stretching along with short walks to keep muscles and joints from tightening up.
Fuel your body. Busy caregivers often skip meals. A well-balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and protein helps your muscles recover.
Say yes when someone offers to help. Let a sibling, friend, or neighbor take one errand or one afternoon. Or hand off one standing task, like grocery pickup, for the season. Accepting help is part of caring well, not a sign you've failed.
Don't ignore pain that lingers. If an ache has stuck around for more than a couple of weeks, or it's changing how you move, it's time to have it checked.
Use your benefits before the year ends
November is open enrollment season. It's a good time for a quick check-in on your health benefits:
FSA funds may expire. Many plans are "use it or lose it" at year-end.
Some FSAs roll over a little. Up to $680 can carry into 2027, if your plan allows it.
HSA funds don't expire. They roll over, and they're a smart way to pay for care you've put off.
Met your deductible? Schedule care before it resets in January.
Not sure what your plan covers? Check with HR or your plan documents.
Physical therapy is often an eligible expense. We accept private insurance and offer self-pay options, and our team is happy to walk you through them. Have questions? Our FAQs are a great place to start.
"But when would I find the time?"
It's the first question most caregivers ask, and it's a fair one. Physical therapy often means a couple of visits a week for a while. Here's how we make that work for busy families:
We run on time. Your schedule is already packed, so we respect it. When your appointment is at 2:00, you're seen at 2:00.
Two appointments, one trip. Already bringing Mom or Dad in for therapy? Book your own visit alongside theirs. You both get care, and you only make one drive.
A comfortable place to wait. If you're there for a loved one's session, our waiting area is a calm spot to catch your breath, answer emails, or simply sit for a minute.
A plan that fits your week. Your therapeutic movement plan is built around the time you actually have, so progress keeps happening between visits.
How Curnyn PT can help
For more than 30 years, Curnyn Physical Therapy has cared for families right here in our Fort Worth community. Our therapists are trusted by local families caring for aging parents, some while raising kids of their own. We get it. Your time is limited, and you need care that fits into a full life.
Here's what you can expect:
Care as personal as your routine: whether it's back pain from lifting or stiffness from repetitive tasks, we build a plan around your body, your days, and your goals.
Hands-on expertise: therapists with advanced training in manual therapy and non-invasive pain relief.
Safer ways to move and lift: we'll show you how to help your loved one without hurting yourself.
Care for the whole family: we can treat you and your loved one, often on the same trip.
Quick access: appointments are often available within 24 to 48 hours, with private insurance and self-pay options.
You care for others. Now it's your turn. Schedule your first visit today. Appointments are often available within 24 to 48 hours.
Want to learn more first? Explore our treatments.
